The trailer's out now...

Hyperbody!

How can I even write anything else?!

COKE HORSE!

COKE WHORES

Googling: "Bassy"

Sometimes it's fun to google things like to see what comes up. I mean seriously ya'll I don't do shit all day, except look at YouTube videos of girls practicing gymnastics in their room..right? But my friend, "Dominator" sent me a message asking if I might recommend some music for her to play at an upcoming show she wanted something "bassy".

So I googled "bassy" and the top sight was for the Bassy-Club in Germany! The site's written in German so I had to get my google translater but what I found was pure gold rush! I think it's a german nightclub for cowboys and the intro to the site is a really smooth butt making a gas bubble happen, seriously! Look! I htmled the picture on the screen shot about to direct to the translated version of the site! INTERNET!

From the site:
"There is not a cowboy.
A cowboy is shot.
A cowboy is defeated by a woman.
A cowboy pulls easily.
A cowboy by the goldrausch packed.
Or fever.
A cowboy finds his luck.
A cowboy wasted his luck.
A cowboy is always lonely.
But a cowboy is never! Never! Never! Never!"

Upon further Googlestigation I found that the Portland Trailblazers had a player named Sebastian Telfair who goes by the nickname "Bassy" (NO, I DID NOT MEAN SebastiEn TelIEr) and had a life of crime after making it big...read the wiki, it's juicy! and now he's like in London rapping and doing t-shirts! How do I know? LOOK AT THIS MYSPACE, SON! http://www.myspace.com/bassy23

DOWNLOWNIGGAZTV - im tuned in and turned on!

Str8 Nigga tells T-Girl hes looking to Freak in his Car

Here's the scenario:
Nigga tryin to get a nut one way or another even if its with a Nigga dressed like a Bitch

Check out the DOWNLOWNIGGAZTV Channel on YouTube
Hey Busta!

Ed Banger do's the dew!

ED BANGER is getting ready to release, VOL III. And SebastiAn has this new track called "Dog"! I think it sounds like Breathe In meets Atari Teenage Riot and you'll know I'm right! And I can't wait to grab an Ed Banger shirt at Hot Topic cause I totally didn't have money for one at the show. When Ed Banger has all the world's money from making awesome music like this I hope they will buy an island and let us all live there...The island will be called Justicia and church will be Justice play live and we'll all Do the Dew and sing DVNO in harmony.

SebastiAn - "Dog"

Le Le - "Breakfast" Video

Le Le on Myspace

SOLD GOLD

Mike from Computer Club just sent this over.

Grandma is sick, mom is heading to the home's undergrund swinger party, and johnny depps motivation is waiting for grammy to pass out! INTERNET

Kellan wrote up Compuer Club on FuckBadMusic - link

iChat is so awesome!

I Just hollar at these girls for a hot min and I drop some names on them like Paul Wall, Lil Wayne, Fred Falke, and say something like, "Yeah, gurl T-Pain ain't singin like no robot! LOL He's got himself a computer application program and he like runs it and shit and it makes it sounds like that, haha your stupid! Hey do you like this song?" And it like all falls into place.

By the way, that's a picture of me on her wall (on the top right).

miss energy and i are kinda hanging out

GRATE INTO ME

Andie and I ate steak tonight! Big, huge fucking steaks as big as your heart!

BARACK OBAMA IS ANTICHRIST

question: how does one love a politician with no skeletons in the closet?
answer: antichrist!

I LOVE BARACK OBAMA AND IF HE TOLD ME TO KILL SOME OF YOU ( YES YOU!) I WOULD KILL SOME OF WITHOUT PLEASURE OR REMORSE! AND BARACK IS NOT SHADY LIKE THE CLINTON WOMAN! AND HE'S NOT YOU KNOW...REPUBLICAN. AND IF THIS WERE THE EIGHTIES AND HE TOLD MR GORBZ TO "TEAR DOWN THAT WALL" THE THUNDEROUS BOOM OF HIS DEEP MASCULINE VOICE WOULD CAUSE THE WALL TO CRUMBLE WITHOUT GORBY'S HELP! AND HE'S VERY LIKELY THE ANTICHRIST, SO ANDIEPERFECT AND I ARE GOING TO GET HIS LUCKY NUMBERS TATTOOED ON OUR NECKS CAUSE REVELATIONS SAYS IT'S THE ONLY WAY TO ENSURE THAT THIS IS REAL OR CONTINUE BUYING STUFF AT TUBE!!!!!!!!!!111

I wouldn't care if Barack Obama was:
Gay,
Freemason
White
The Dark Prince
Osama Bin Laden post Face-Off scenario
Your Mom
A Woman
White
Friends with My Enemys
in the band Justice
Gay
White
...Or anything else!
I FUCKING LOVE HIM! AND IF HE ASKED ME TO TEST MY FAITH IN HIM THE WAY THE HEBREW GOD ASKED ABRAHAM TO SACRIFICE HIS SON ISSAC, I'D SAY OK! BUT SINCE HE WONT DO THAT BECAUSE I DONT "HAVE MILITARY TRAINING, JOEE" OR EVEN "KNOW WHERE THE FUCKING SAFETY BUTTON IS LOCATED, YOU IDIOT" I CAN ONLY TELL YOU ALL THAT MY LOVE FOR HIM IS UNCONDITIONAL. LIKE YOUR LOVE FOR THIS BLOG! AND I KNOW THAT I'M REPEATING MYSELF BUT YOU NEED TO KNOW WHERE I STAND!

The Beloved AntiChrist, Obama, Blocking Superman's Way

2008 OBAMA OR YO MAMA!!!!

Famous Frat Packers star in Infomercial Comedy!

Yesterday, I wrote about this stud. He's Billy Mays! And he's an amazing salesman! I have an idea for a comedy movie about a infomercial saleman like Billy Mays that stars a stocky comedian movie guy like Will Farrel or John C Riley or Jack Black in a role based similiar to Billy Mays. And some skinnier comedian movie guy like Steve Carell would play like Matthew Lesko. And it's be fucking hilarious! Like we could reuse all the same plot as films like Anchorman and Old School and make it about Infomercials and write new one liners. And a trashy chick with a sense of humor about her current or past role in the tabloids will earn points by playing a character kinda like Tammy Faye. And tons of people will go see it cause there's top notch talent in it. And there'll be so many funnies in the motherfucker! And the internet's a big place and anyone who tries to make this movie without talking to me may have very easily seen most post and is as familiar with TMZ as I am. OH MAN PEOPLE WON'T EVEN ACT LIKE THEY DON'T REMEMBER THAT EDDIE MURPHY HOLY MAN PIECE OF SHIT AFTER THIS WINNER!

BIRDMAN - "100 MILLION DOLLARS" VIDEO

Fucking internet! AHMAHGAWD IT'S AMAZING!
Pfunkt just linked me the video to the Birdman video for "100 Million Dollars":

Note: don't confuse this Birdman's 100 Million Dollar's with Piles "100 Years", mah nigguhs!

Billy Mays, Hays!

I've been really sick all weekend. And while I sick I've watched a LOT of TV and there was an individual I really began to like...like like a lot, a lot. That individual is Billy Mays.

Billy Mays is a pimp and a television commercial and infomercial salesman most notable for promoting OxiClean, Orange Glo, and other cleaning, home-based, and maintenance products. His direct and "high energy" style and ubiquitous presence on many television commercials and home shopping channels pitching a wide array of products has gained Billy Mays a substantial amount of recognition to where he regularly gets more respect than Matthew Lesko.

Mother Mays was a virgin when she birthed the infant Billy Mays, in McKees Rocks, Pennsylvania in 1958. After graduating from high school Billy Mays began his career as a salesman on the Atlantic City boardwalk, selling the "Washmatik" portable washing device to passersby. Working alongside many seasoned pitchmen, he developed his trademark style of salesmanship. Billy Mays later traveled to home shows, auto shows and state fairs across the United States for a period of twelve years selling various maintenance products and tools, including cleaning products and food choppers.

At a Pittsburgh home show in 1993, Billy Mays struck up a friendship with rival salesman Max Appel, founder of Orange Glo International, a Denver-based manufacturer of cleaning products. He was then hired by the company to promote their line of cleaners, OxiClean, Orange Clean, and Orange Glo, on the Home Shopping Network in St. Petersburg, Florida.

Customer response to Billy Mays' sales pitches were enthusiastic, with a sharp increase in sales after his first day on the network, although some reviews have been poor. For example, Washington Post staff writer Frank Ahrens called him "a full-volume pitchman, amped up like a candidate for a tranquilizer-gun takedown." The website Consumerama similarly panned Billy Mays' style, comparing his appearance to "a beary bouncer in a Cut and Shoot' bar" and describing his delivery as "rat-a-tat-a-tat-a-tat....". Consumerama awarded him its "Naked Mole-Rats of Marketing Award" for "shameless consumer abuse."

Following the success of the Home Shopping Network campaign, a line of successful television commercials and infomercials for the products was produced, featuring Billy Mays demonstrating the effectiveness of the products to viewers hands-on. The success of these commercials led to OrangeGlo International being named among the top ten privately growing companies from 1999 to 2001 by Inc. magazine, and its eventual buyout by Church and Dwight. Appel credited Mays' salesmanship for much of the company's success.

Billy Mays is the CEO and founder of Mays Promotions, Inc., based in Dunedin, Florida. His services as a pitchman became highly sought-after, and he has appeared in commercials for many diverse "as seen on TV" products.

Some Products advertised:

OxiClean, Orange Clean, Orange Glo, Water, Hercules Hook wall hangers, Simoniz Fix It Scratch Remover, Your Mom, Ding King automotive dent remover, Beyondadoubt, Gopher reaching tool, Zorbeez absorbent towels, Lint-B-Gone lint brush, Samurai Shark knife sharpener, Liquid Diamond car waxing product AwesomeAuger Ground Auger, Swedish House Mafia, Weed Auger, and Power Extender gardening tools, Grip Wrench, Dr. Joel Kaplan's Male Enlargement Pump, Turbo Tiger vacuum cleaner, Poop bottom corks, Fix It car scratcher remover, Swamp Busters, Mighty Putty, Easy Off Bam!, Crocodile Cutter, Rogaine Facial Hair, Friendster, Sealtite Tire Sealant, MoarBear Material, Genco Power Solutions, Vidalia Slice Wizard, Steam Buddy wrinkle remover/creaser, Sticky Puddy, Kaboom! products, Bang! Automotive dent remover, Imontheinternet, Ultimate Ladder, Cutco Kitchenware, and a buncha other stuff you need!

NOTE OF LORE: I heard that if you go into a bathroom by yourself, with a phone, pop rocks, and root beer. Then in mix the pop rocks with the root beer then click your heels together three times saying "Billy Mays, Hays!" Then call within the next ten minutes in the mirror you'll see Billy Mays with a Hercules Hook holding his bottom. Then when you turn the light on the pop rocks and root beer will be safe to drink.

Vladimir Putin is Time's 2007 Person of the Year - Yay!

Vladimir Putin named Time Magazine's 2007 Person of the Year

Of course, in the humble opinion of this fact-based blog, this was only done to stir controversy and sell magazines. But none the less we love Putin: he's very fox-like...

The Tzar is back and he's gonna get the muggles!
Hay now! Hay now!
The Tzar is back!